When we get clean and sober life can come hitting us hard. A lot of times we have a lot of healing to do. Healing with others and healing with ourselves. That’s why I always tell people that we need to take our time and be patient.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
What this means is that we need to break up all these areas into smaller sections. Then we tackle one at a time. This makes dealing with life easier. However, this also means that we have to prolong other areas.
When I went through these steps I decided to do a lot of research.
Take religion for example. I did a ton of reading on a ton of spiritual belief systems. From there I made an informed decision on what fit with my world view. Now some of this has changed over time, but I was able to settle on a foundation. I also did this with parenting and political ideology. Nevertheless, this can be done when looking for a partner, evaluating friends, and even deciding how to make amends to different people based on how you have wronged them.
Most of my amends that I made were simply an apology and the promise that the same situation wouldn’t occur. This is because I never plan on having a relationship with those people any where close to the one I had when I had wronged them. Still, it is important for us to make not to not do the same to others.
I still am dealing with sections of my life today. Sometimes it takes years.
I am still working on school, which isn’t something that I needed to right, but it was something that I knew would better my life and I had to make time to sit down to think about what would be beneficial to me, along with what subjects would be able to hold my attention for years. This came down to knowing myself.
Another area so many of us deal with when coming out of addiction is credit. Most of us don’t have a credit score in the 800s after we sober up. Debt can feel like a lot of baggage and may become a hindrance for us to move on with our lives. If you are to the point where you have a lot of your internal issues worked out with yourself, then I would suggest to get your finances in order. After all if you are still messed up, then finances are only going to get you into more trouble.
Life can, and will, throw us curve balls. It is how we deal with them as they come, and if you have built a healthy foundation then you will surely have a higher chance to succeed.
The stage that I am talking about is called the maintenance stage, which is farther down the road from those that are early into the stages of recovery but this will help with progressing through the stages.
Remember that things can be hectic in the beginning and there will be a lot going on. It will seem like you will need to go in every-which-way, but I assure you that most of it can wait until your ready. Take one section and spend 6 months or a year really digging and searching for what’s right, and what works with you.
Don’t rush. This is your life.
Don’t be concrete. Life changes. So should we.
Don’t be scared. This is your chance.