I was in my PO’s office shortly after my most recent release from prison. My PO warned me that the biggest cause of relapse is romance and finance. Now, this was not the first time that I had heard this statement, and it had always bugged me. I never knew why, but as I began to get further into sobriety I have really fleshed out what my issue with this phrase is.
I am guilty of using cliches. I will use lots of them. However, in order for me to use a cliche, there has to be some validity to it. If we were going to attach validity to the Rom & Fin statement then we would certainly have to stretch the truth.
First of all the only reason, someone relapses are because they are not done getting high. They wanted to get high. We could use a break up as an excuse, but no one’s life is utterly perfect and then they are broken up with and they think that the best idea is to get high. There are obviously other elements at play that would make that person want to go get high instead of dealing with a life problem that we all face. At that point, it is back to the drawing board.
Next is finance, which I think that only a buffoon would believe. I mean think about who says, “I don’t have any money, maybe I should get high.” It is insane, which yes, I know we were all insane at a time, but my original point would stand with the insanity; they still want to get high.
Just think, at this level why don’t we say pets and jobs are the biggest cause of relapse? Someone might get high if their dog dies. Maybe they didn’t get the raise at work. Well… time to get high. See how insane that sounds?
It is only spouted off because it is catchy to say.
We need to not use rhetoric like this in order to avoid responsibility for our actions. If you relapse after your spouse leaves you, not their fault. It is yours. Accept it. If you aren’t making enough money, decide to sell drugs, and wind up relapsing, then it is not the monies fault. It’s yours. Accept it.
You are the one who has complete control over whether or not you get high. Don’t let people, who originally will tell you that you need to accept your actions and take the proper steps to mend and heal from those actions, all of a sudden tell you that it is romance and finance’s fault you got high. It is just dumb.
In recovery we need to be aware of what people are telling us, and how they are telling us. We need to be questioning if what is being spoken to us is correct or if the logic is faulty. Critical thinking can save your life. It is one of the most important tools that you can have in your arsenal.
If you need help or just want to reach out then do not hesitate to contact me.